Darkness

I didn't even know what to call this post. Tonight is hard, very hard, and the struggle is real. Since Friday I have unfortunately fell off of the self-harm wagon twice, and cut my arm. I am so ashamed and I have no idea how to deal with it or how to hide it, especially…

A trip back in time.

I have been dwelling on my past a lot recently, something I realised I have totally managed to black out up until my recent emergency appointment with a crisis counsellor. He was good and made me feel at ease, but I am glad my visit with him was a one off, as I feel like…

Numb

Today I dont feel anything. I am so tired all the time I just want to sleep. My body feels weak and useless, the slightest activity like brushing my hair or walking upstairs requires a break. No further forward with the doctor. Was there today to get new prescriptions for my tablets and was also…

A Couch Day

Today has been a pretty unproductive, bad mental health day. Aside from picking up a package from shop and grabbing some basics from the shop across from it, I have done nothing. I didn't fall asleep until around 3am and then woke up around 10, and went back to bed until around 1pm when I…

Since that night

Since I last posted I have not found the time or the energy to post anything. Nothing much has changed in my life and yet to me it feels like a lot has happened and it has been such a long week. After that weekend I was back at the doctor's on Tuesday. My mum…

Distraction

Trying so hard to find reasons to stay positive tonight. The struggle is very real and darkness is consuming me. Positives: My fiancĂ©. My family. My dog and cat. Cosey blankets. Netflix on the couch. Comfy pillows. Fresh air. Beaches. Disney. Animals. Pretty scenery. Good music. Yummy food. Quiet places. A good book. A hug.…

A bad weekend

This weekend has been far from ideal. It should have been amazing but I managed to ruin it for myself and others. I graduated university with an honor's degree in Zoology on Thursday, and my mum planned a family BBQ on Saturday to celebrate. She planned everything so much, spent so much money and put…